I've been toying for most of the day about writing this blog post but I think *not* writing it goes against the purpose of today. Time to Talk Day is 24 hours in which to start conversations about mental health, raise awareness and share the message that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, neither is talking about it.

I think a few people close to me (and some in the online world) know that I struggle with anxiety almost every day, some days are better than others. Its not something I can help and its not something I can just turn off. In fact one of the most irritating things is to be told to "just get over it" or "just stop worrying".

Rather frustratingly for me, recently I had to admit to myself, and to those close to me, that my anxiety has got a bit worse and developed into "Anxiety Depression". On the surface of things I am meant to be all happy and excited because I am getting married and planning what I hope will be a wonderful wedding (I have a huge anxiety that people wont like what I am planning), I am in the process of buying a lovely house which with my future-husband we will renovate into our future family home, I have family who love me and an amazing honeymoon to look forward to.

But that's all on the surface, depression can run deeper than that, and mine does, I have been ignoring certain feelings that started about 4 years ago now, I closed the door and threw away the key, and it is only as I am coping with a rather hectic schedule at the moment, combined with my back problem, that these emotions are resurfacing and overwhelming me. I've tried to ignore it, I've tried to tell myself I'm just being silly, but that's not right either. When I read a blog written by Shiny Pigeon I realised that I needed to ask for help. And that is exactly what I did and I am pleased that plans are being put in place for me to get the help I need and the simple act of telling someone I needed some help was a weight off of my shoulders.

If you know someone dealing with anxiety or depression and you don't know how to be of help to them, this TV advert from Time to Change is a really good pointer. The best thing is taking the time to talk to someone, to listen beyond the "I'm fine", to spend an hour of your day with them having a cuppa and a slice of cake, to send a text or an email, maybe even pick up the phone.