And so the time has come, I am writing this the night before I turn thirty and I cant help but admit I feel quite reflective and contemplative.

It was in September of 2010 I set myself a Thirty before Thirty challenge and I guess in a way I have "failed" because I have not completed everything, but I decided a couple of months ago that I did not need that pressure when I have been crazy busy trying to establish Butterfly Crafts and so I altered it to "within my thirtieth year" - hey my challenge, my prerogative.

But it is not just that making me think, I asked my parents earlier if I am in the place they envisioned me being in when I turned thirty, they both said they cant say they really had a "vision" but I am clearly happy and that's what matters to them.....and mum added my hair is straighter than she had imagined since I was born with a mop of curls.

Am I where I thought I would be? Am I in the place I dreamt of being in? Yes and No. If I were to talk to my 15 year old self then no, like many youngsters I thought at 30 I would be "old", married, probably with children and in a good job working in something to do with travel.

Fast forward to my 25 year old self and am I where I thought I would be in five years time? Well still not married or with children and still not in that great job with an established career but I also have done something I hadn't expected to do back when I was fifteen, I graduated with a Distinction in my MA from Greenwich and had a career path change to work in heritage and cultural industries. At 25 I also had my first DVT which wasn't the most pleasant of experiences I have to say and that, along with the second one, has made me think a little differently about what is important about my future and things that may or may not happen for me in it.

Move on four more years and we get to me turning 29 last Summer and I will confess last Summer I was not really in a good place. I was feeling pretty down and a bit sorry for myself, here I was single, in a relatively new job I still wasn't sure about not really feeling like I was living up to expectations or anywhere in comparison to my friends who were mostly (but not all) married, with children and good career paths infront and behind them.

But what I realised, and still feel today, is that everyone is different, there is no point looking at your peers or close friends and feeling inadequate (easier said than done I know, and I still feel inadequate in comparison to some of my friends) because you have to make your life out of the chances you have and the opportunities that lay before you. I would like to go back and tell my fifteen year old self to stop focusing on what society and "traditions" say you should be and to really think about what you want to get out of life. I would like to tell my 28 year old self that you will get over heartbreak, just to give it time, and I would like to tell my 29 year old self to keep an open mind because you never know what possibilities and excitement lay around the corner.

Maybe it's something about the turn of a decade, but I do feel at 30-1day, that I know who I am now, I know that I will never be a skinny minny or the fittest of the pack, I will not be the centre of a big social circle and I will not be the high flier in my career because its not what I want to be doing.

What I do know is that I will be the best friend that my abilities allow me to be to those who wish to "let me in", I will eat a dessert and enjoy every last crumb of it and not think about my thighs, I will not get cross at my body for having crappy blood and actually thank it for getting me over my needle phobia and I will experience as much of this tiny world as I am able to, preferably holding the hand of the person I love. I will not feel like I am lagging behind in my "career" because actually what I want to do is open my own craft workshop and want to focus on that no matter if that takes five years to happen or fifteen - I'd like to tell my fifteen year old self that what she actually wants to do is run a business and see the look on her face! And, I will be the best daughter/sister/girlfriend that I am able to be because, like many I want to make my family proud of me, and I know they are because they tell me frequently.

So, what does the thirty year old me look like? Happy, head over heels in love, content and excited with what the next decade will bring and that is something I think the fifteen year old me will be pleased with.

Yes that's right, just forty days and forty nights left until the big day, I can't wait and am so excited as I have four days of celebrations planned plus a day of rest tagged on to the end! On the big day I will be having a makeup lesson at Bobbi Brown, dinner with my parents and boyfriend and going to see the Wizard of Oz at the Palladium, the following day Mum and I are visiting a craft village, the third day is for some serious baking and food prep ready for day for....PARTY!!!!  I am having a 1950s themed party and I cannot wait, I am almost beside myself with excitement actually.

As I said in my last update blog, I am not doing so well with my challenge but I am also not going to stress over it, life is too short so rather than feeling like a failure, I have switched my list to a "complete in my 30th year if possible challenge"....we shall see!

But here is an update so far...

1.Own a sewing machine, - I almost have enough John Lewis vouchers to cover the sewing machine that I would like. I will wait until I have enough but who knows what my birthday might bring.

2.Learn to knit socks – I think I am going to put this off until Winter.

3.Visit Buckingham Palace – Done!!!!

4.Swim in a lake or stand under a waterfall - "postponed"

5.Own a home (the BIG challenge) – Who knows what my 30th year might bring.

6.Be debt free except from a mortgage if Num 5 happens – this will be sorted out next month!

7.Visit Dickens House – DONE!!!

8.Go to a soap making workshop - DONE!!! and on sale in my shop!

9.Learn to hang wall paper – postponed until Dad wants to decorate!

10.Spend a night on the Norfolk Broads – Sort of DONE, twice! I have been to Norfolk twice, and been on a tour of the Broads, just not spent the night on an actual boat.

11.Learn to make pastry – There will be lots of baking involved for my birthday party.

12.Learn the succession of kings and queens from William the Conqueror in 1066 – I have been given a few hints and tips on this, just need to learn it!

13.Make and wear my own dress – I wont be making my birthday dress as I will be treating myself to something very special for my party, maybe I will make a dress to wear on my 31st birthday!

14.Read five books from my bookshelf - Two and a half down and two and a half more to go!

15.Have a make up lesson – DONE!!!...and being repeated on the big day.

16.Do something every day to make me smile – I cant stop smiling lately, I guess that's what happens when you are totally in love.

17.Learn to change a car tyre – I'm still laughing about why I included this! - cant see this happening yet as I hopefully don't need new tyres. I have however learned how to check my water levels.

18.Be able to jog a mile without stopping - after the issues with my back, and physio I am now allowed back to the gym and am feeling as unfit as ever but I will persevere.

19.Go to Rome or Sorrento – DONE!!!

20.Sleep for 6.5+ hours sleep a night consistently – Some nights are good, others are bad, and some are unmentionable.

21.Visit Giant's Causeway – Well, I'm off to NEW YORK in August so Ireland will have to wait. Perhaps a road trip next Spring is in order.

22.Have a dinner party - DONE!!! I have hosted dinner for my parents at my boyfriends house and prepared lunch for his parents too. Party planning is also coming in to play for the big bash!

23.Have Butterfly-Crafts mentioned in a newspaper or magazine – DONE!!!! not only have I been mentioned in the local paper but have also had a piece in Craft Seller magazine.

24.Sleep under the stars - I have an option in mind for this, watch this space, just need a mozzie net!

25.Live as much of a handmade/homemade/economical life as possible - I am aware of this every day and so far this year I have been making all the cards I need to send people and gifts where possible. I am now also starting to think about Christmas presents and what I can make for people.

26.Begin to have the stamina, strength & body shape from pre-leg issues – the gym is definitely helping. I will never be a ‘gym bunny’ but I do feel much better to go after work and at the weekend for a little brain space. I really miss rowing but that’s off limits at the moment, one day though, one day.

27.Watch: Casablanca (done), Dr Zhivago (done - yawn), Gone With the Wind (done), The Philadelphia Story (done), A Street Car Named Desire (done - yawn), The Godfather (done), Citizen Cane (done) and Ferris Beulers Day Off (done - crap film) so just Goodfellas and Schindler's List to go.

28.Go to a comedy club – This will now be happening when we go to NYC in August.

29.Finish my knitted patchwork blanket – This will definitely be a "30th year" project

30.Visit 15 exhibitions at museums and galleries – Well there was Handmade Tales at The Women’s Library, Afghanistan at The British Museum, Out of this world at the British Library, Eadweard Muybridge at Tate Britain, Electroboutique at the Science Museum and a few others I've currently forgotten!

For those of you following my (not-very-updated) 30 before 30 challenge list you will know that one item was to have Butterfly Crafts mentioned in a newspaper or magazine, well this had been completed a while ago in the Hertfordshire Mercury due to me organising the craft fairs within our village.Not content with that, this month I have a piece in Craft Seller Magazine!!

Craft Seller is a magazine focused towards people like me who are wanting to sell their crafts and to make a business out of their hobby. A while back I was approached by a journalist from the magazine asking if I would like to be included talking about why I use Artfire as one of my selling platforms - each month they look at a different selling venue. Obviously I jumped at the chance and wrote what was required of me, I also selected some pictures which luckily I had high resolution ones to hand having been re-photographing everything for the website, I also sweet talked Paul and he took a head shot of me (although I prefer the full size version rather than this crop).

I knew that the magazine would be coming out in June but I was not sure when, as it turned out I was on holiday in Norfolk when I picked up a "tweet" that someone had made saying I was included. Well from that moment I became more annoying than a child at Christmas because I had to have a copy NOW. This was problematic as I was on a boat on the Norfolk Broads but luckily it was only an hour tour so I managed to find a newsagent one we were off of the boat and I found a copy!

I am really pleased with the piece and it is exciting to be in a magazine!!