I've been toying for most of the day about writing this blog post but I think *not* writing it goes against the purpose of today. Time to Talk Day is 24 hours in which to start conversations about mental
health, raise awareness and share the message that mental illness is
nothing to be ashamed of, neither is talking about it.I think a few people close to me (and some in the online world) know that I struggle with anxiety almost every day, some days are better than others. Its not something I can help and its not something I can just turn off. In fact one of the most irritating things is to be told to "just get over it" or "just stop worrying".
Rather frustratingly for me, recently I had to admit to myself, and to those close to me, that my anxiety has got a bit worse and developed into "Anxiety Depression". On the surface of things I am meant to be all happy and excited because I am getting married and planning what I hope will be a wonderful wedding (I have a huge anxiety that people wont like what I am planning), I am in the process of buying a lovely house which with my future-husband we will renovate into our future family home, I have family who love me and an amazing honeymoon to look forward to.
But that's all on the surface, depression can run deeper than that, and mine does, I have been ignoring certain feelings that started about 4 years ago now, I closed the door and threw away the key, and it is only as I am coping with a rather hectic schedule at the moment, combined with my back problem, that these emotions are resurfacing and overwhelming me. I've tried to ignore it, I've tried to tell myself I'm just being silly, but that's not right either. When I read a blog written by Shiny Pigeon I realised that I needed to ask for help. And that is exactly what I did and I am pleased that plans are being put in place for me to get the help I need and the simple act of telling someone I needed some help was a weight off of my shoulders.
If you know someone dealing with anxiety or depression and you don't know how to be of help to them, this TV advert from Time to Change is a really good pointer. The best thing is taking the time to talk to someone, to listen beyond the "I'm fine", to spend an hour of your day with them having a cuppa and a slice of cake, to send a text or an email, maybe even pick up the phone.
3 comments:
If you went to a wedding of a friend or family, would you mind if they chose a theme you didn't like? No, you wouldn't. You'd just be there for them and their special day. They will be there at your wedding to share in how you want to spend your special day. I've been through depression for the past 7 years, and after help, I'm out the other side. I got the right professional help and medication and have learned to cope with something that doesn't go away and you can't just snap out of. Good luck and although I can only make a passable cup of tea, the biscuit tin is full if you are passing x
Victoria, I feel for you having had bouts of anxiety in the past. I know it can feel overwhelming, exhausting and disabling. You have so much going on in your life at the moment, let alone the back pain you are dealing with, that in itself must have a huge negative effect your mental health. Remember, as you say, you got through it in the past and you WILL do again. Well done for seeking help. I am a firm believer of the restorative effect of herbs (prescribed by a registered herbalist) to help with not only the anxiety but any physical symptoms thereof. Be kind to yourself and talk to yourself like you would your best friend who needs a bit of TLC. Your wedding will be so special and very personal to you. You must make it what you believe it should be and everyone who will be there will want you and Paul to have the most amazing, wonderful day. x
Well done on writing this post and asking for help. I know how hard that is xx
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